Paralympic Sprinter Jaleen Roberts on Navigating Mental Health as an Elite Athlete

There shouldn't be shame accompanied with reaching out,

it should be a proud moment.

Like, I got the help when I needed it, and yeah,

I think that anybody that does that

should be proud of themselves.

[bright music]

I was gonna go to the Paralympic Games in 2020,

but they were postponed in March.

I lost my sense of purpose

because for four years I was training

for such a big moment, such a big year.

I got super, super depressed.

I actually ended up speaking to my mom

and she advised me to drive to my coach's house.

We had a conversation and I ultimately decided

to admit myself into a psychiatric hospital

where I did get the help that I needed

and I got a proper diagnosis,

and they sent me up for mental health success

outside of the facility so I got, you know, a therapist,

on the right medication, other resources that helped me.

I've always dealt with depression since middle school,

I was medicated.

It just got to a really bad point

and I started to get suicidal ideations

and it was really scary for me actually.

So it came down to that point

and that's why I finally called my mom,

because I thought to myself, if I don't,

then I don't even know if I would have been here

for the Games.

And I did also have another major setback too,

one of my really good friends died by suicide

in May of 2021, so actually pretty close to the Games.

Again, I didn't wanna compete,

I didn't think that I was, like,

mentally tough enough to do it,

and each time that something happens,

it's really just a matter of having conversations

and rediscovering my original purpose.

I guess I just changed my mindset

of my dedication for the game.

It made it easier because I dedicated

the Games to my friend,

which made it a lot easier to train and compete

and be able to be focused

while still honoring her and her memory.

And I had a conversation with my coach

because I really didn't wanna train anymore

and he brought me back to my why.

So we talked about my original purpose

for why I do what I do,

not just the competition or the medals,

but what's the real reason why I am involved

in Paralympic track and field anyways,

and that was because growing up,

I never had female athletes with disabilities to look up to,

and I had never heard about the Paralympics,

only the Olympics and the big stars in that,

and I wanted to be a female role model

with a disability to younger athletes.

I was able to look through more rose-colored lenses

and look forward to Tokyo 2021,

and I realized after that

I was gonna have more time to train,

I was gonna have more time to deal

with some minor injuries I was dealing with,

and looking back, I wouldn't change anything,

because had the Games been in 2020,

I don't know how I would have performed,

and so I'm grateful for the way that everything panned out,

but it definitely was a challenge getting back.

I've had a really strong mental fight that I had to fight,

but with the help of my coach and my mom

and the rest of my community,

I was able to ground myself and get back to training for it.

It took a lot to even speak up to my mom about anything.

It was something that I wanted to deal with on my own,

and then it came to a point

where I just felt like I couldn't.

So it definitely took, you know, some bravery,

but that's the whole reason why I do what I do,

is so that other people know that it's a brave thing to do

and it shouldn't be stigmatized

or there shouldn't be shame accompanied with reaching out.

It should be a proud moment, like,

I got the help when I needed it,

and, yeah, I think that anybody that does that

should be proud of themselves.

I know it can be scary to open up to a ton of people,

but if there's one trusted person within your community,

especially as an athlete,

our communities are sometimes broader

because we have our coaches, our strength trainers,

our nutritionists, whatever,

we have such a strong community,

and so reach out to somebody

and just let them know that you're struggling,

and it's not something to be ashamed of.

[gentle music]