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I’ve Tested More Than 100 Wand Vibrators—But This One Is My All-Time Favorite

It won me over in minutes.
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Gabrielle Kassel / Laneen Wells
TriangleDown
Ultra Wand
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Pros
  • All 10 vibration settings are rumbly
  • Handle doesn’t vibrate
  • Flexible neck
  • Intuitive controls
  • Waterproof
Cons
  • Only comes in fluorescent colors

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As a person who teaches Zoom workshops about sexual pleasure and writes about it for the internet full-time, I’m regularly sent the latest and greatest sex toys—or at least, products vying for that title. These days, my supply closet looks more like an R-rated warehouse than a Staples aisle. But in both my personal and professional experience, few toys are as good as their marketing would have you believe. As a result, my bedside drawer—the spot where I stash my favorites—has plenty of room to spare. Sure, this is due in part because I have the luxury of getting to be choosy (see above: free sex toys), but the fact that I have a finicky vagina also contributes.

Gabrielle Kassel

I have a hypertonic pelvic floor, which essentially means that the muscles can get stuck in a tightened position—much like a Charlie horse of the vaginal canal. These days, I’m in pelvic floor therapy, which has kept my symptoms (like pain during penetrative sex) at bay. But because penetration still occasionally feels more “ouch” than “ooh,” I generally avoid it when I’m masturbating. (Besides, I’m part of the 70% of vagina-havers who need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, so it’s never been much of an issue.)

Being picky with my pleasure products and having a pelvic floor condition can make it tricky for me to find a sex toy I’m heart-eyed about. But that’s exactly my facial expression when I’m using or talking about the FemmeFunn Ultra Wand ($75, amazon.com), which now makes a regular appearance in my sex life and has more than earned its place in my nightstand.

Look and feel

As its name suggests, the Ultra Wand is a wand vibrator, or a microphone-shaped external vibe. These toys have bulbous heads that stimulate a wide surface area and long handles that make it easy peasy to reach your hot spots, Gigi Engle, a COSRT-certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and resident intimacy expert at dating app 3Fun, tells SELF.

Measuring 8 inches long and weighing 6.7 ounces, the Ultra Wand is shorter and lighter than most other wand vibrators I’ve tried. For a sense of comparison, Hitachi’s Magic Wand and Le Wand’s Massager, two fan favorites, measure 12 inches long and weigh 1.2 pounds and 13 inches long and weigh 1.5 pounds, respectively. This makes the Ultra Wand more accessible to folks with hand mobility or wrist strength challenges (and a better pick for marathon sex sessions in general).

Coated top to bottom in silky, body-safe silicone, the FemmeFunn Ultra Wand is smooth to the touch. Run your hands over its length, however, and you’ll feel that the entire toy feels slightly bumpy—another plus. Added texture can make sex more pleasurable for many people with vulvas, according to sex and relationship expert Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, associate professor in the department of human communication studies at California State University. “Textures and sensations on the clit and vulva can bring novelty to the body and mind, which can be more exciting than experiencing the same smooth surface all the time,” she tells SELF.

How I tried it (and how it went)

Before I took the Ultra Wand for its first test drive, I spent some time figuring out how the buttons worked and cycling through all 10 settings. I was thrilled to discover that the toy’s round head is the only part that vibrates. If the entire wand buzzes—as is often the case—my hand usually ends up going numb while using it. Not ideal.

When it was eventually time to get down and dirty, I shut my pup out of my bedroom, turned on my sex playlist, and stripped to my skivvies. Usually, I keep my underwear on when I masturbate to buffer the vibrations. But I was excited to discover that because the Ultra Wand is smaller than most other wand vibes I’ve used, it also has a smaller motor, which makes the vibrations less intense. Surprisingly, I was able to enjoy the sensations directly on my skin.

I love the feel of the silicone on my vulva. It was silky and skin-like to the touch—not sticky or tacky, as can be the case. And the knobby texture definitely stood out: Each time I shifted the head of the vibrator a millimeter or two, the pattern added a little extra something.

All in all, I ended up enjoying 3 orgasms in just under 17 minutes with the Ultra Wand. (Yes, I had a timer going in the name of investigative journalism). This is impressive, given that I usually can’t use wand vibrators for more than a few minutes before their weight fatigues my arm.

Trying it with my partner

My partner and I live in different states, which means a lot of our sexual intimacy involves giving the other play-by-plays of our solo sessions—sometimes FaceTiming each other while we get busy. By the time my partner and I were able to try the Ultra Wand together in the flesh, they had already heard me wax poetic about the toy and seen its effect on me, so they were excited to use it with me.

All the things I loved about the Ultra Wand during me time also held up during our partnered play. But there was one feature that we were able to enjoy that I hadn’t noticed while going at it alone: its flexible neck.

Situated between the head and the handle is a bendy joint that allows you to alter the toy’s angle to best target your hot spots. This feature was extra helpful when we were spooning, and my partner reached around my body with the Ultra Wand to play with my clit.

During our post-sex debrief, we agreed that our only rub with the toy is its color options. Mine is neon pink, and the other two available options (turquoise and magenta) are similarly bright. Usually we enjoy more subtle color options, which are a less shocking contrast against our skin.

The bottom line

My pelvic floor condition may make my wants and needs unique. But I really believe the FemmeFunn Ultra Wand is a vibrator that nearly all pleasure-seekers could enjoy—and in particular, people who are brand new to vibrators, people with mobility or strength limitations, and people who enjoy clitoral stimulation. After all, the toy has an intuitive button setup, plenty of vibration patterns, and provides intense, textured stimulation.

Further, the Ultra Wand is waterproof, which means shower wankers and bath boinkers can enjoy it too. And at just $90, it rings up also half the price of many similarly rumbly wand vibrators.

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